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gotta let this out somewhere eh


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17 replies to this topic

#1
Saloo

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I fucking hate British women, these ugly tarts couldn't get a bloke like me. Today I was in the pub, talking about Pakis and drinking 1200 pints. My gut was flexing and underage slags in a three furlong radius were getting clammy. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour drinking session I called this bint I know, Chanelle. She's a fucking munter and looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp. So I got into me Transit van and revved it up to 4,000rpm (this is made in the Midlands with a special engine system). I got onto the motorway near my gaff and threw it into 3rd gear, I hit about 60mph and I heard the sonic boom as the transfer case shattered into a million pieces. As I was bezzing it on the motorway like a mad cunt, Chanelle called me and said she wanted me to pick her up some fags and Frosty Jacks. So be it.I came to a full stop from 23mph outside her house. These Leyland DAFs have shite brakes you know. So she walks out the front door, climbs over the sofa in the garden and starts eyeballing the Lamberts and cider. I couldn't tell she was looking at it because she's got a lazy eye. Get in.Flash forward to like 30 minutes later. My 5 inch cock is going inside her clam, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with both arms because she's fucking massive and she has an asthma attack. She looks me in the eye (I think) and says fat cunt. TDi just kicked in, yo. I spaff on her face so hard she falls off her bunk bed. There had to be about 2 pints of blood everywhere. People say I fuck like a rapist, I wouldn't disagree with them.I throw her a Leeds united shirt so she can clean herself up and then I drink a triple vodka in my Land Rover Defender and drive home


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#2
Elrond140

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thx markito v2


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#3
Christian33

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Ngl, didn't read. However I hope things get better for you and the British chicks


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#4
@Ben

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Ty 


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#5
Deejay

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Goddamn big story


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#6
Keanu Reevis

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Ty


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#7
Kevin

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???? cba 2 read


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#8
Crowbox

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hmm


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#9
fm9

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tldr didnt ask btw



#10
Sicka

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nfg


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#11
%Joey

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TLDR don’t drink & drive

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#12
V0L

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aye innit


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#13
Amulet

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Wtf


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#14
Kill Boy

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Lacking attention IRL so you seek it online?


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#15
Slimmy

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is that the Spiclands flag?


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#16
#Chedzilla

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nfg


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#17
Jimmy

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tyvm


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#18
`Tyrone

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me2






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